Genre: Romance/Fiction
Pages: 314
Published: 2018
Stella is in her thirties with barely any dating experience, to the chagrin of her mother. She knows a lot about creating algorithms that help customers decide what to purchase. But because of her mild autism, she has more difficulty with human interactions. So to please her parents, she decides to hire an escort to show her the ropes of what a relationship is like. Enter Michael, who does this for a living. But Stella was expecting practice, not someone to fall in love with. And Michael was expecting a one-night affair, not someone who wanted practice. But as the two get to know one another, maybe they'll realize there's more to life than logic.
Without consulting a review, I was told so many great things about this book that I heard through Goodreads and Instagram. Plus it was a Goodreads Choice Winner. What a cute romance, people said. So fresh! So fun! And that cover! (Okay, you're not supposed to judge by the cover, but still, it's a good book design...but not for the type of book that it is.) So I had to pick it up.
Only to find that this is not a "quirky romance". This is almost straight-up erotica. At least for the first half.
Isn't it strange when everything you see about a book is wrong? And, quite frankly, you wouldn't know that this is that type of book.
It may have been my fault for not reading the description more carefully. When I saw that Stella was hiring an escort, I thought it was literally going to be that: an escort. Someone to help her navigate relationships and accompany her to events to make it look as if she's in a relationship. And that sounded really interesting--someone teaching someone else how to navigate romance. Where it lost me was that he was only teaching her sexual things. Sex and romance don't necessarily equate. I was also disappointed that Stella is only doing this entire thing to impress her naggy mother. You'd think the mother would be a little more understanding of the fact she has autism. And her mother's needs just seem to be forgotten about after the first chapter anyway. So where's the motivation for her needing a relationship?
In addition to me not caring a whim for sex scenes, it was the writing in general. The beginning was love/sex scene after love/sex scene. And not only was it way TMI for a general romance novel (Hoang uses some terminology that is almost strictly for erotic novels, which didn't help), but it was just so boring. I mean, what kind of excitement are you expecting with watching two people make out, or learning a sex position? That's a LOT of this book. Stella herself seems really interesting. Her job and her disability would be great areas for exploration, but they're not explored nearly enough. I think her character should have been explored a lot more than it was; the premise offered a lot of interest that the story itself didn't really provide because it focused so much on the drawn out scenes of intimacy. Even if I did like sex scenes, it was hard to connect to the characters because I didn't learn much about them. Stella seemed so robotic at times. Much of the plot seems to be the author's wish fulfillment. It's almost too much like Michael's so-called "Hot for Teacher" fantasy. I was really hoping for more relationship stuff and less physical intimacy, which doesn't thrill me at all.
Oh, and Michael. He has missing father issues! Gee, I've never seen that in the past two years! Authors need to find a different family drama subplot, because this one is getting so stale. So. Tired. Of. Missing Dads. Now between the two main characters, there is certainly some chemistry potential. Sadly, a lot of it is wasted on instructional sex scenes. I would also like to add in how predictable the love-at-first-sight/forbidden love thing is, but that may not be necessary. It's a romance, and sometimes I guess it's necessary to be a little predictable. Still, the two MCs are super in love right away which just isn't realistic.
Some of these things aren't necessarily Hoang's fault, either. There was clearly a marketing misfire. Many of the initial thoughts I heard were wrong, and it was trying too hard to sell a "fun romance," which isn't necessarily what it is. (Read: sex and romance aren't the same thing and they're kind of robotic at times.) There is a considerable difference between what's in the book and what it says it's about. Still, the writing and lack of action didn't thrill me, and what I saw of the family subplots was bland and cliche. It's nothing we haven't seen before.
If I had to give it some praise, I would say I enjoyed the diverse characters. It was so good seeing different ethnicities represented here, and not just for use as political props. I feel like 85% of the time that people of color play major roles, it's to prove a point about diversity, or their story revolves around racism or tolerance. It shouldn't always be that way. We need more of this; books about people in the USA who just happen to be non-white without always playing the race/diversity card.
If you're not into erotic scenes, you'll be best off skipping this one. Honestly I'm disappointed--the story had so much potential that just didn't translate. I liked what people said the book was, rather than what it actually was. I'd much rather see developed characters in a typical budding relationship doing more actual stuff together. Or maybe my values didn't line up with the ones in the book. I don't think erotic novels work, at least for me, because I have no desire to read sex scene upon sex scene. I want action, character development, and interesting plotlines, which The Kiss Quotient doesn't really have. I think that it's possible it might have improved later on, but I kept having such a hard time finding motivation to even pick it up--and when I did, I really slogged through it-- that I'll leave it alone for now. On the other hand, maybe I should have looked into the concept more. I'm sorry, but I have to maintain my original unpopular opinion here.
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